The Gift of Giving
The time of year has come when our children are busy in their classrooms learning about the story of Hanukkah. The aroma of latkes fills the hallways, books about brave Macabees take over the library corners, and riveting games of dreidel are in full swing.
While gift giving has not always been a tradition of Hanukkah, it has become more common over the years. Many children now spend time thinking about and requesting presents that they want to get on each of the eight nights of Hanukkah. While it’s natural for children to feel excitement when receiving a gift, it can be more challenging to foster that same sense of enthusiasm around giving one.
Giving, especially to those who may need something more than we do, can be a primary way to instill a sense of gratitude in children. Below are some ideas on how to cultivate your child’s joy of giving this holiday season and all year round.
- Volunteer as a family- Spend quality time together helping to meet the needs of others. Check out the following local volunteer opportunities:
- Feed My Starving Children– Help pack nutritious meals for hungry children around the world.
- Mitzvah Manias – JUF’s monthly lists of one-time volunteer opportunities.
- Tikkun Olam Volunteer Network- JUF’s connection point for people who want to donate their time to help others in need.
- Uptown Café – Chicago’s first kosher anti-hunger program for the needy.
- Bernie’s Book Bank- Impact literacy in Chicago
- Give tzedakah- Tzedakah is a righteous act of generosity. Encourage your child to save money over time. Let them pick a cause close to their heart, and donate or purchase items to go toward that organization (e.g., dog and cat toys for an animal shelter).
- Solicit input- Include your child in the process of selecting a gift for someone. Involve them in picking out wrapping paper and allow them to help wrap the present or make a card.
While they may have a difficult time taking on the perspective of someone else, try and engage them by talking about the person’s hobbies or interests. Ask them, “What activities does this person enjoy?” “What makes him or her happy?”
- Be creative- Have your child make homemade gifts so they can feel proud of their ideas and creations, building their confidence and self-esteem. For example, decorate a picture frame or drip mat to place under the hanukkiah.
- Express yourself- Point out to your child how good it feels to give someone a present. You can acknowledge, “I felt happy when I saw how excited Aunt Ann was when she opened our present!” or “I’m glad that we were able to donate these coats to children who need them to stay warm.”
- Find opportunities to praise- Pause in the moment and recognize when you notice your child sharing with his or her friend or sibling. Be specific in your feedback and let them know what they did that was so meaningful.
The importance of giving can be a difficult concept for young children to understand. They are naturally egocentric and focus primarily on what they want or what belongs to them. It is no coincidence that a toddler’s favorite word is “mine!” That is why if we can make giving fun to do, it will likely encourage children to want to participate. Through modeling generosity, fostering creativity and including them in the gift selection process, we can help children develop a desire to give, and ultimately find joy in doing so.
To continue the discussion with your child about giving and sharing, below are a few book suggestions that will help promote ongoing conversations at home:
- It’s a…It’s a…It’s a Mitzvah by Elizabeth Suneby and Diane Heiman
- The Golden Rule by Ilene Cooper
- The Mitten Tree by Candace Christiansen
- The Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister
- The Spiffiest Giant in Town by Julia Donaldson
by Rachel Schwartz, LCSW
Director of Social Services, JCC Chicago